frigid, i say!

imagine waking up on a weekday morning and while getting ready for work you turn on the weather channel only to find out that it's -2 degrees outside.

-2.

negative. two. degrees. farenheit.

add a "windchill factor" of -20 and it's just plain ridiculous to even fathom stepping foot outside. but of course i had to because, you know, there are bills that need to be paid. it was so freakin' cold out on tuesday that all i wanted to do was stay under the covers and hibernate for the rest of the season. i mean, in all honesty, the snow was really nice and pretty to look at, but that minus 2 shit has got to stop!

so, when i got to work, part of the morning was spent surfing the web for accounting and/or tax jobs in hawaii. i kid you not. i found one too, but then later realized that i'm only teasing myself unnecessarily because i can't really do jack shit until the whole green card thing comes through. well, actually, i can, since it's hawaii and still part of the u.s. but i don't want to because then i'd be screwing my employers royally (due to reasons relating to a contract) and while on most days i might gleefully shout out that they deserve it and then some, the reality is that they don't, and i won't do them like that.

turns out there are jobs for accountants in the cayman islands as well. yep.. and tax-free too. but i'm not getting too excited about that lest i forget that them cayman folks (or at least the govt.) are mighty homophobic from what i hear. something about not allowing an all-gay cruise ship to dock in their port.

i'm finding it particularly hard to get myself motivated this year. i even called in sick from work yesterday, mainly due to a restless night's sleep but also because i just needed a mental health day. i slept in till about noon and then proceeded to watch bad tv all afternoon until i finally got myself out of bed to go grocery shopping and cooked a big pot of steak chili which actually turned out quite fabulous. that was probably the most productive thing i've done all year. no lie.

pool league started up again this week and i started the season off with a 3-0 night. let's hope i can keep it up.

i'm participating in junior achievement again this year and my first class is next wednesday. i can't wait to meet the new 7th graders. hopefully they'll be as wonderful and agreeable as last year's kids. i'm really looking forward to it. actually it's probably one of the very few things i'm looking forward to anytime soon.

i'm feeling really "it's the beginning of the year and i should be doing this and that and this and that and sticking to all my resolutions and and and" but not at all following up with any kind of productive action whatsoever. i'll be 31 this year, and i'm still trying to work out many of the kinks of my life that i've been trying to work out for the last 3 years. that's pretty sad, ain't it? like, am i gonna spend the rest of my life fussing over how much weight i need to lose and how badly i need to quit smoking? at what point does one just say "f*ck it, i've been trying to do this for years, maybe i should just give up on trying to be a fit and healthy person"?? does one even ever get to that point? or does one just continue making the same damn resolutions year after year after year? truth is, i DO want to be a fit and healthy person. the thought of being old and unfit and unhealthy seriously scares me. maybe one just needs to get off one's lazy ass and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

so yeah.. i think that in order for me to really follow through on the goals i feel i need to achieve, a huge change is required. a big one. like a move or something drastic like that. my current status quo just isn't cutting it anymore. it's one of those years, i can tell, where i'm just itching and yearning for something big to happen. and yes, i realize that 'tis i that needs to make it happen, but i just don't know where to start.