Monday, February 07, 2005

choose your friends wisely..

sunday morning drama is the last thing a person could want. sunday mornings are supposed to be special. that one last weekend morning where you can sleep in as late as you want, and linger around in your pajamas for as long as humanly possible.

but this past sunday morning you woke up to some outrageous drama which essentially forced you to give up a friend you'd known since 1994.

you see... sometimes, you find yourself in a really fucked up situation and analyze it to death only to realize that there are just some people in this world that don't have a place in your life. you've played the role of big sister to them. you've tried and tried for years and years to be patient and tolerant and understanding and forgiving. you've tried not to be judgemental and gave the person the benefit of the doubt over and over again because you figured that one day the person would grow up and realize the true meaning of friendship. you've been loyal to this person, as you are to all your friends, and you've been there to bail them out of difficult and/or embarrassing situations. bottom line: you went out of your way to do all of these things because the person is your friend and you had faith in the person's ability to be your friend.

but then one day something happens to make you realize that the person who you thought was your friend didn't so much as think twice to use your friendship as leverage for their own selfish needs. not only did they use your friendship, they used your absence as a way to manipulate the situation to their advantage.

as a result you just sort of sit there, baffled, as if knocked in the head with a rock. you find yourself having been put in an embarrassing and awkward position, wondering how in the hell this person had the audacity and complete lack of respect for you to do such a thing. and you play the scenario back and forth in your head and you wonder if you could've, would've or should've seen it coming and then you finally come to the all important conclusion that it was probably your own naivete along with the other person's lack of common sense and generally immature disposition that got you in this position.

but at the end of the day, after the initial anger and boiling blood vessels subside, you weigh the pros and cons of the friendship and ask yourself some very crucial questions: "has this person enriched your life in any way?" and the answer is "sort of". followed by: "is being this person's friend more of a chore than a joy?" and the answer to that is a resounding "yes". but then you also have to follow up with the question of whether a drastic change is necessary and whether or not that drastic change will actually make your life easier. and the answer to that is, well.. yes. and so you decide from that point on that this person is no longer your friend. and it makes you sad, and it makes you nostalgic, but it also makes you relieved to know that you no longer have to associate with someone who has taken advantage of you and your kindness and your trust and the friendship you've given them for 11 years. a line has been crossed and there's just no going back. once they drag your family into their mess, it's just.all.over.

so at the age of 32, you realize that you really do have to pick your friends wisely. and you wonder, deep down inside, why it took so long to come to that very important revelation.