weird shit...

ever wonder why weird shit happens to you sometimes? i mean, weird shit people. just weird shit.

it's like you go along life minding your own business, trying to do the right thing while remaining true to yourself. life is good, despite the ups and downs, and work gets crazy and the body gets tired and you go on with your routine. and then something happens to totally excite the shit out of you and knock you off your ass! it makes you have thoughts you haven't had in a while, and feel things you haven't felt in a while... and then poof! it's gone. it's gone before you even realize what you had and then you go looking for it, try to relive it, but it's nowhere to be found. it's like a tease. and then you wonder why it happened at all. you wonder if there was some secret purpose behind it but you can't figure out what.

sure, after a while the memory fades and life goes on, but you still wonder why the hell it happened and what you should've learned in the process. i've thought about it quite a bit and i think i've come to realize that i have an inability to seize moments. i let things happen and i let things flow, but i never stop to take hold of a situation and think through the fact that if i let the moment pass wihtout somehow acting on it, i may never experience it again. it's like i'm constantly on the inside looking out but not necessarily on the outside looking in. or is it the other way around? who knows. i'm just a fool. learning life's ropes. in my own special, special way...