Thursday, February 26, 2004

talk about fucked up priorities...

i'm a tad livid today, for many reasons. but i'll just indulge you in one of them. those of us that live in chicago are painfully aware of the "cubs curse" and the " ball" and i'm sure many of you across the nation have at least heard about it in passing through one form of media or another. if you haven't, i hate to say this but you've probably been living under a rock.. or have avoided all forms of news media entirely (for which i applaud you, actually).

well, today and yesterday the infamous ball that was inadvertently caught by a cubs fan was all over the local papers and news channels... as if we didn't have enough of a hoopla over it back when it happened and the cubs lost one of their chances at winning the world series. now, frankly, i don't give a shit about baseball unless i've got a bat in hand and a ball on it's way. it's too slow of a sport for me to watch. i'd rather be playing. but i digress. so this ball is being destroyed today. destroyed, because, you know, it's a lingering reminder of the never-ending cubs curse. the curse. because heaven forbid there's any other possible explanation for the cubs' continued failure to win a world series.

what pains me... no, that's too mild.. what absolutely fucking chaps my ass, is this:

"On the eve of its destruction, the infamous ball was treated to a whirlwind final day on Earth", according to this article in the chicago sun-times.

not only are they destroying the damn thing, but they're also treating it like a glorified death row inmate. the article continues:

"Shuttled in a van with a handful of security guards, the ball took a trip Wednesday for a last look at the Friendly Confines, where it all began. The ball circled the outside of Wrigley once, then was taken for a walk around the front of the park."

but wait.. there's so much more:

"After its drive to [wrigley field], the ball was chauffeured to the [insert trifling ass hotel of your choice here] Hotel, where it was placed on a plush, king-size bed in a fifth-floor suite and had set before it a dinner of steak, lobster and a Budweiser. Afterward, the ball was given a massage, complete with scented candles."

the assinine part of this is that they actually showed this lady massaging the ball on the 10 o'clock news last night.

the article doesn't mention this, but the ball is also insured by a donated $1 million policy by [insert dumb ass insurance agency of your choice here], and the policy expires when the ball is destroyed tonite during an elaborate ceremony planned at a local baseball-friendly restaurant.

and when i say elaborate, i mean elaborate:

"It is a sold out, free-ticketed event and will feature music, comedy and celebrity appearances in addition to the toast to [insert deceased baseball fanatic here] and the ball destruction. Hollywood legend Harold Ramis (Ghostbusters, Animal House, Groundhog Day, etc.) will be the Master of Ceremonies. Billy Corgan (formally of Smashing Pumpkins) and Rick Nielson (guitarist for Cheap Trick) will perform acoustically. Columbia Recording artist Alice Peacock will also perform. The Second City is singing two songs they wrote in honor of the ball destruction.... the destruction of the ball will be aired live on national television stations throughout the United States." according to the host restaurant's website.

now, i consider myself to be a pretty fuckin' laid back kinda grrl. really, i do. but this whole thing disturbs me and sickens me in so many ways..

there are people in this country (let alone the world) that have never slept in a plush king-size bed in a swanky downtown hotel. there are people who may never have had the luxury of a lobster and steak dinner. there are people who have never been chauffeured before. there are people who have never been able to afford a professional massage. and for fuck's sake there are millions of people who don't even have a lick of insurance. yet this inanimate chunk of rubber, cork, twine and leather has it all.

despite my attempts at poking fun at this whole debacle, i'll have you know that i'm thoroughly disgusted by how trifling some people in this city can be.