Tuesday, August 19, 2003

sunshine on my titties..

i'm not sure how to describe my experience at michfest. but i'll preface this blog by saying that about 90% of any negativity that may seep through probably comes from the fact that i was absolutely exhausted when i got there, and we just weren't there for a long enough period of time to truly explore and enjoy it. if we do go again, i have to make sure i'm totally well rested before we get there. i've already whined and moaned about how i've spent the last 3 weeks strapped to my office chair at work so i won't bore you with that any more. but it certainly affected my spirits. add to that the fact that we drove from 2am to 8am on friday night having only napped for an hour after we finished packing. i didn't have any time to run errands or pack during the week because i worked till about 9pm every night and came home and went straight to bed.

having said all that, it was no surprise that i was dragging the entire day on saturday. camping is hard work, man.. lugging all the shit, trying to find a spot, setting up the tent, etc. etc. etc. it was too much for my body to handle and my back was killing me the entire time!

so, okay, enough of that. onto describing the festival. for the first time in my entire life, my breasts got some sunshine! wow.. what a liberating feeling. now, i'm not really the type to get all free and naked anywhere because i really am a rather shy person. but after seeing so many womyn walking around topless (some also bottomless) my breasts were just crying to be set free. and i did it. not while we were walking around or anything, but just when we were chillin' at our campsite. sure, there were other people around in their tent areas, etc. but it was so comforting to know that they didn't care and they really probably weren't even looking! i would have to say that that was the most liberating experience i had at michfest. by the way, lisa, you wouln't really be in the minority for wearing clothes.. tons of gals were fully clothed and nobody looks at you weird or anything for being dressed. as i mentioned above, i was dressed the entire time except when we got back to the camp and were in the semi-privacy of our tent site.

the feeling of being in a womyn only space was at times a little bizarre, but in a good way. only because my brain is so conditioned to seeing womyn and men. everytime i saw a really butch girl, my brain registered her as a man and that was just really scary because generally i never see butch girls and think of them as men.. you know? it's like a part of my brain had to get used to the fact that all the womyn there, no matter what they looked like, were womyn. it's almost like my brain was seeking out men because that's what it's used to! very odd.

i didn't get the feeling that there was much of a political climate there, which is something i definitely expected. then again we caught the tail end of the fest, so perhaps we missed it. but it was definitely lacking.

now, i would have to say the most disappointing aspect of michfest was that there were just a handful of womyn of color (a conservative estimate might be 50-70) compared to the 5000 womyn in attendance. that was a huge disappointment. certainly the organizers of the fest can't really control who comes to the land, but i was really, truly expecting more womyn of color.

we did get to see toshi reagon and sweet honey perform at a stage that overlooked a huge field full of womyn. and when we lay out on the blanket we saw the brightest fucking stars i've ever seen. that was truly an awesome experience. toshi/sweet honey were awesome. actually, when we were on our way to michfest, we stopped at a gas station and when i got out of the car, the driver of the van that was behind us stopped too and when she got out she asked if it was our first time on the land and we said yes. so i went on to say that i wanted to see sweet honey perform and she said "that's cool.. they're right there in the van" and they waved! :)

sunday was a chill day. we got up casually after a (finally) restful night's sleep and wandered around to the crafts area where they were selling all kinds of different things. it wasn't until we got to the sex toy shop that i thought it so odd that here we were, 5000 womyn, no penises, no men, no trannies, nothing. but we have here a sex shop full of dildos of all shapes and sizes. how bizarre.. but then again i never really understood that whole concept and i'm not going to get into it because i know how lesbians love their toys.. :)

michfest is a great, great concept. the idea of having a womyn only space for those that prefer it, is fantastic. the idea of being able to walk around freely with no inhibitions, no societal restrictions, no fears of men and rape, no fears of body shape, size, no need to wear a bra if you don't want to, etc. is truly a wonderful thing. every womyn should experience what it's like to live, if only for a short time, in a society where men don't dictate anything. but at the end of the day you come back to reality and realize that there are men in this world and while michfest is a once a year sanctuary that is definitely unique, it still somehow symbolizes segregation in a way. i'm not saying it shouldn't exist.. indeed it should. it's an astounding concept. but the womyn's movement isn't really so much about separating ourselves from men, as it is being able to co-exist in a manner that is beneficial and fruitful to all. unfortunately in a male dominated world like ours, the womyn's movement isn't moving as fast as it can/should. so, our only option then is to escape once in a while, to places like michfest where it isn't illegal to take your shirt off, as men do on a daily basis, without fear of being sexually harassed/molested/raped.

i'm not sure if i'll go back next year. i had so many high expectations of michfest being a life-changing experience and what not, which i don't really think it was. but then again if i weren't so damn exhausted, who knows how the tables might have turned?